That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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