Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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