Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
