You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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