When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
