Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
