My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
