Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Plan B is the new Plan A
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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