I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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