you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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