Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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