She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize