so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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