I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
