Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My vagina is very pro this idea
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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