I heard we made out
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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