but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
