btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
