Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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