i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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