WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
