HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
