She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
