Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize