He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
