This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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