Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
