I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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