you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize