I bet he comes in French.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
