there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This baby is an asshole
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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