so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
