Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So squirting runs in the family.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
