home. puking in laundry basket.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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