A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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