What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
