Umm I'm too high to move.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
