i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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