We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
