i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
