We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
