grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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