We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
