u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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