I just threw up on my dentist
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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