But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
