It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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