i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
