HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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