I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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