i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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