i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
