I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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