Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
