Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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