you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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