that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize