girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We talked him into tasing himself.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
